I write in my own style.
I also write for other people and use a completely different style, but I revel in my own unique ranting brain flow no filter way of expressing my points of view.
What follows are some of my more thought provoking quotes from just this year.
Some may offend.
Some may make you mad.
Some may make you laugh.
Hopefully, they will at least make you shake your head and roll your eyes.
“Someone told me he deadlifts Hummers.”
“While many debate the value of adopting a digital currency, there’s a growing awareness that blockchain technology can revolutionize commercial real estate. First came the personal computer then the internet and next we had the mobile phone, now we have blockchain.”
“I love brown liquor.”
“I am the Godfather of #CRETech.”
“Pay attention I am never wrong.”
“We are CRE, and we are smart as hell.”
“If you are going to stand on the soapbox you might as well be ready to take some hits.”
“Whiskey Cigars and Russian………..”
“BlockChain Protocol. No comment needed.”
“As a husband father broker and human being not one of my finer moments.”
“See what I did there? I did not say balls deep, trying to keep it clean.”
“Quinoa, uh quinoa it still tastes better with gravy in my opinion.”
“WeWork just popped a 10 billion dollar platform right in their face and they couldn’t do shit about it. If I see the CEO of WeWork again I’m going to kiss him on the lips in front of people!”
“Transactional is creating and executing the transaction. Transactional is 30-35% of the real estate market. The Built Environment is everything else. Everything. So that’s 65-70% of all the rest of the $$$$ in commercial real estate.”
“My phone beeped, and it was a message from another broker trying to FUCK me out a piece of the split. My response. “Let’s lawyer up. You will spend more on your lawyer than the amount of money you think you can FUCK me out of.”
“The hot chick that you hired to handle “administration” is worth it. Just look up. Yeah, that’s worth the price. Don’t get pissed at me for bringing it up, you know what she knows, she knows that’s part of the job, oh yes she does.”
“What kind of platform would you want to own? One that finds apartments or one that leases commercial real estate?”
“1.You are my new idol. 2. Best idea ever. 3. Will you marry me and help me launch this brilliant group? #BrokersWithoutBalls”
“No, it’s because the #CRETech industry has not given you SHIT to work within a mobile environment.
“”Is it just possible the tech world is finally catching up to us?”
” I will feel extra special when you buy me a single malt scotch on the 19th hole this weekend.” ” You are of course assuming you will miraculously learn how to putt between now and then.”
“Don’t worry you vain, self-centered ass. You’re not important enough to warrant a mention.”
“Why worry about the words ass vagina rack and penis when they are spoken out loud at dinner in public?”
“What if the building has already created all the value you bring to the table?”
“It’s their building. It’s their asset. It’s their data. It’s their building, and they can do whatever they want with it.”
“The building could do the transaction itself. Digitally. Digitally with Block Chain as the basis of verifiable data.”
“You have time warped 30 years into the future and will not understand anything written here.”
“Data as a commodity. Where have I heard of that before? #SAYWHAT.”
“No one and I mean no one can claim they have THE Content Platform for commercial real estate.”
“It should not matter the color of the skin the persons sexual preference the gender or religion of that human being. The building doesn’t care.”
“If you want equality in commercial real estate you have to first acknowledge that things are not equal, they are not equal for women, people of color or persons with a different sexual preference and that those people have problems that straight white males do not.”
“You are not a man. Yes, I said it. Do you want me to repeat it? You are not a man. It’s a man’s world……. most of the time…….. except sometimes.”
“They don’t have the problems that everyone else in the world has—-because they are STRAIGHT WHITE MALES.”
“Did I just shame you quiet? Do you feel the need to validate your patriotism and acknowledge my blue suit and military uniform?”
“Oh yeah, they could create their own algorithm. So what. Who in the hell is the DeathStar anyway?”
“Right now there is some guy (white old guy) sitting somewhere reading the nine points of strategy like it’s the Holy Grail of all commercial real estate for 2015.”
“You can almost see the tears in his eyes as he reads his bio back to himself.”
“Mention best practices or strategic basics and kill two kittens a puppy and your college mascot.”
“Data is a simple commodity. The big data for pay model seems like asking someone to carry a land line phone around and plug it in to send and receive calls.”
“The data created by commercial real estate is now more valuable than the actual structures themselves. Reread that.”
“Anywhere you exist can and will be a commercial space?”
“The “community” of commercial real estate touches all things business. Helping create a transaction has no value. Creating “community” is the only value.”
“The data will create a marketplace for traders who see not only potential and confidence in commercial real estate data but actual profit in trading.”
“The bricks and mortar commercial real estate assets may actually become more valuable because of the tradable data?”
“How did we ever conduct business without market transparency? Was it fair for everyone? How did we let it happen for so long?”
And last but not least is this entire article. It is one long profane quotable masterpiece.
I’ve Been Called The Most Quotable Person In Commercial Real Estate. What Do You Think?
+1 Think about the one’s I didn’t write!