It’s tough as hell out there. I’m here to help…if you will let me.
You see the press releases and the twitter stream.
Big $$$ Vc’s getting into #CRE #TECH
Quotes in the WSJ from companies you know.
Pictures of me standing in their offices with big gushing smiles.
And here you are pounding away with the most brilliant idea and product that you know the world needs.
Here are 10 things that you can do now to help push your #CRE #TECH company to the “next” level. Raw, Real and Unedited.
1. Get on Twitter. Quit hiding. You are not that fucking cool. It’s called a work hack asshole. Wait, your too busy being you. Let me tell you something, all yes all of the #CRE #Tech CEO’s Vcs’s Angels and your fucking potential customers are on Twitter. You are like “bullshit, fuck twitter that’s so over. I only message my crew and my pussy posse on SnapChat or WeChat.” Maybe you should read what they are saying or RT what they post. Who are you again? How will they know who you are if you are not paying attention to them. You better be paying attention to them. It’s called engagement for a reason. What does engagement usually lead to? I know it takes time. Tough shit. Work it.
2. Read blogs and watch videos of the people you follow on Twitter. They are speaking writing presenting and believe it or not trying to attract you to them. Recruiting partnering engaging (there’s that word again) and connecting. Now this is not about ass kissing. It’s about connecting your points of view with theirs. Not everyone will connect. You might be surprised who will. Wait, the whole world should recognise your brilliance? Not going to happen. Give them and yourself a chance to further the discussion. EVERY HUMAN BEING I HAVE MET IN THE LAST 4 YEARS started from this very scenario. USE IT!
Side rant: Quit wasting time on beer and your fucking college sports teams. They don’t give a fuck about you so why should you care about them? And yes I’m going to say this. Stop the fantasy league shit you lazy nerd. (Automatic 3 nasty emails and 10 unfollows.) Be a player or stay out. I know there is no other way to be “involved” in the macho football thing. I know it’s how you stay connected to your bros. So what. Boo Hoo! If I hear “IPA” one more fucking time. Grow up. Drink brown liquor you pussy.
3. Diversity. Oh Shit, that word scares you and do you know why? You are a white boy. You have #whiteboyproblems. Yes, I read Peter Thiel’s book. Yes, he said to hire the same people over and over because it works and you can do great things together. But you need diversity (did your eyes just squint) and that may mean hiring women and people of color. Yes, I said women. Those exotic creatures you gaze at from afar. You know how you hire….. yes I’m going to say it you pick the hottest chick you can find…right? I mean you actually get to pick them. They never even use to look at you and now you can pick them out and just gaze for days. Look up and scan the room. Is there more than one female in the room? Now, that’s what you call diversity. Am I right? College is over #Whiteboy and they are not called chicks anymore or are they? How easy is it to team build when everyone is just like you? All you really need to do is discuss the awesome rave thing you just got back from. You can tell everyone that the two dudes with mouse ( if you comment about their “style” you are a Douche) heads on their heads standing behind a mix table cranking out the Ghost Electronic Punk Funk has changed the music world forever. They will nod a reassuring yes to confirm your awesomeness as they notice colored powder under your fingernails. That may be your team but your customers are not those people. I know I know you are building a company and have to “scale things before they need to scale.” How about getting people in the room who can do just that…from the fucking beginning.
Side rant: Some help from an old school player: Let me help you with your main HUGE #Whiteboyproblem. The hot girl you hired and you now see everyday. The one that actually talks to you. The one you can barely breathe around. The one you made sure got the second and third interview. The one you thought could be amazing for the team. Hint: If you want to impress her show her the numbers. You know the $$$ in the bank. You’re a player so show her the bank…for real. Then ask her if she may want to go on a trip. A trip to South Africa. Yea, it brings up images of beaches and safaris. No place that anyone of her besties has ever been. Go for a week. Go simple but classy. Tell her you want to keep it on the down low. Not a lot of pics. Maybe a couple so she can show her girlfriends how amazing of a dude you are. Send a couple to your mom so she will get off your ass. Have some wine. Stay away from the beer. Chicks like wine. They like to share. I know it tastes like shit to you now. It won’t so much later. Look across that table. You’ll drink some wine for that won’t you? Think about her in a bikini on the beach and next to the pool and you in your board shorts and pasty white belly. Pure romance. It’s your big move. It’s the only one you will ever have. Balls Out.
4. Go where the money is. It’s not in your back yard. NO, it’s not! Some $$$ may come your way. Those investors just want to tell their golf buddy they are investing in #Tech #Start-ups. It makes them think they are cool and on top of the new shit but it will dry up. The real money in #CRE #TECH is in New York. Yes, New York not anywhere else. This needs to be verified but a general number is that 30-35% of commercial real estate deals happen in New York. New York is the fucking market. It’s where the companies are that do commercial real estate deals. Ok, yes some money comes out of San Francisco but it’s not New York. Name the people who you know in New York. Name the companies that you know. OK lazy ass name the major building owners you know or have actually met face to face in New York, one of the biggest commercial real estate markets in the entire world. Oh wait, here is a big one. Name the biggest customer you could partner with. Think crazy partnership like no way this could ever happen crazy. Somebody figured it out already and made it happen. Codename: Blackstone. That’s Balls!
5. Ask for a referral. Wait, shit I just told you a secret. When you sit in front of someone at the end of the meeting ask them for help. Ask them who they know that might be able to help you. They have a network. We all do. Have you talked to me face to face lately? I always ask how I can help. Hell, last week I had to chase down a CEO and ask him how I could help him and when I did he opened up to the problem they were having getting (traction) users and closed deals. What no F-bomb?
6. Write about your company and your experiences. I won’t say (blog) because that brings up visions of fat old guys in the midwest with an axe to grind. You don’t want to do that do you? It’s not cool. Hard to relate to those blogger writer assholes?. Who the fuck has time for that shit? Let me tell you something #whiteboy. You better be doing it. You should be doing it like a boss. You use that phrase “like a boss” right? I know it’s hard. Shit, when can a #whiteboy have a IPA. WTF kind of life is this anyway? You are the expert you are the man you are the dude. You know your shit like no one else. Let that profound knowledge and coding dry wit come out. Show the world what you got. Is someone going to steal your brilliance? Fuck them. Can they execute like you? If they can your fucked anyway. It’s you platform. It’s your soap box. Own that fucker!
7. Cold calling cold emails. Did you just shiver? Of course you did #whiteboy. Momma did not raise you to shill did she? Wait, is that me? No, fuck you. Do you know what us old fuckers call it? “Dialing and Smiling.” Oh, shit you have “salespeople” for that shit right? Look in the fucking mirror..it’s you. YOU ARE THE SALESMAN #Whiteboy. I received a text from a #CRE #TECH #CEO this week and it said “4 cities this week leading the team.” That’s called leadership! That’s called sales. You can call it distribution if you want. I know “sales” makes you feel dirty. You are above that shit right #whiteboy? How many calls do you make a day? NONE you pussy. How’s your fantasy team doing again #Whiteboy?
8. Angelist is only for tech geeks..or it’s not! Not fully busting out your profile on here is just fucking stupid. Anyone who is anybody who is connected to anyone who can help your company is on here. Get on there everyday, connect follow message and check shit out. Hell, they even have strategies about how to use the site with actual people’s experiences on there. Come on #Whiteboy. Fuck I almost forgot to drop an F-bomb in the last paragraph.
9. LinkedIn is where your customers are. You think it’s just old fuckers collecting profiles and reading Richard Branson quotes. You know what, you’re probably right. I have a group that I started on LinkedIn. Social Media Commercial Real Estate. It has 6,000+ members. Now, I filter that fucker everyday. I delete and piss off anybody trying to scam burn or fuck with it. There are only commercial real estate people on it. Only commercial real estate people. Only your potential customers. 6,000+ of them. I’m not pitching the group. Stay the fuck away for all I care. The point is that if 6,000+ commercial real estate people ask for permission to see content in that group. What could you be missing #Whiteboy?
10. Your angels or investors are not your Mom and Dad. Reports right that’s what you think about when you think of your investors. Monthly reports. The last thing you think about is transparency. Transparency beyond the numbers. They want you to win dumbass not fail. Ask them for help. Ask them for connections. Wait, maybe not so much on connections. It depends. What are the real connections that you need? Money connections. Wait, they are your money connections.. How about connections to actual users? Now we are talking. What the fuck else do you need them for? You need customers and partners. Get those first. I know and you know that mom and dad are going to make sure you stay “afloat.” Hell, I’m a parent and my babies will never starve. They may be lean for a while. It’s called life skills. Do you have the guts #whiteboy to be lean to be hungry to not get caught up in the bullshit “lifestyle?” Nah! Dude you have meetings. You have coffee. You have catered lunch. You have workations. You have t-shirts. You have mommy and daddy but they are not your angels or investors #whiteboy.
Side Rant: I met a #TECH CEO on the west coast. He came from a small country south of the U.S. This fucking guy has that nasty hungry look that makes the hair stand up on the back of your neck. Oh and he came out of the brokerage model. He was a team leader at 26 in the big time. All respect to this guy and his family, (I hope he does not recognise himself) I bet his mom and dad love him like no other too but, he will fucking bury you #Whiteboy. You have never seen heard or felt that hunger. Are you thirsty for and IPA right now? Do you want to call your mom and dad? Take a walk and look like you are in deep thought, that hot chick may notice.
You have all the advantages in the world laying at your feet. #Whiteboy
Access to all the money and knowledge in the fucking world. #Whiteboy
Computers models case studies hacks and your bros. #Whiteboy
A country and system that literally makes billionaires out of nothing. #Whiteboy
So #Whiteboy what’s your fucking problem?
Here are 10 Hacks for #CRE #TECH #Start Ups That Will Get Completely Ignored.
+1 Defend your fantasy team and kill 2 kittens and a puppy.
+1+1 The pic above is a beach in South Africa. Your move!
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