The Male Dominated Culture Of #CRE. Are We Immune to “The Witch Hunt?”

It’s just about every day now. You see it I see it. Somebody getting nailed for sexual and or workplace harassment. Senators, movie producers and actors, athletes, news anchors and their bosses the list goes on and on. All very publicily having their careers extinguished in a matter of seconds.

And since this is my website and I’m known for no filter I say, It’s about fucking time!

You still think you can and will jump up on the high horse and ride it over the bodies of women, (and boys) like they are nonhumans you slimy worthless pieces of shit then let me help fuel the flames of your quick and painful demise.

Now, that’s a pretty easy position to take is it not? Viciously burn the men who exploit anyone and everyone by using their supposed position of power to do what? Just about anything they want.

Yea, to us good guys, yea, us good people. We are not them or anything remotely like them. And that is for the most part true.

I said, “for the most part.” Let me explain.

Now, this is from my perspective, it’s all I can use, your experience may be different and I have addressed that previously here, Commercial Real Estate Is All Straight White Males and That May Never Change.

So, given the title above, what part of #CRE are we talking about here?  1%, 5%,10%, 50%?? All?

#CRE is all white males of a certain age. Correct?

So there has to be something going on. Is #CRE immune? Are we so very different?

What’s the number in reality? What number do you want to use?

Does that depend on who you are?

What if you are a late 20’s something tall lean blonde retail rep? Oh, yea, and female. Did you just assume I was referring to a female? What’s that number now?

A story, A real story that just happened recently.

Let me set the tone with a reference title for the story of “the open secret that hides in plain sight.”

Are you starting to squirm already?

If some of you are not familiar I live in Manhattan so therefore I have access to a broad and diverse collection of #CRE related events. I get asked to attend many and am thankful for the invitations.

With that access comes the ability to meet network and interact with just about anyone related to the business of #CRE.

So, it’s not hard to imagine the setting, a conference, a cluster of dark suits, clean haircuts, and phones held at various angles reading that small screen. Interacting but yet still staying connected to the entire world.

Within that cluster is talk, talk of business and deals always deals and the market of #CRE in general.

Now, I’m standing in that cluster, I’m one of the suits (losing the jeans more and more, not riding horses so why wear them in the city) I’m looking at my phone in various stages along with listening in on the conversation.

The quick intros and handshakes have already taken place. It is about networking after all. The familiarity of the tribe.

Parts of the conversations are always about who knows who and who should meet who because it may be of some benefit. I did mention the networking. Some people do it as an art form.

During the conversation for some reason, one particular person mentions a female he had recently met.

Do you want INSIDE the #CRE #White Male World? Here it comes! It might be even worse than you think.

” Have you seen________?”

A couple of the other guys look up and one acknowledges he indeed has. Remember I’m standing right there also.

“What an incredible ass. She is fucking hot. I have heard a couple of different things about her from where she went to school.”

One of the guys who knows me just looks straight at me and is still.

” I was just talking to her and all I could do was look at her rack. She is pushing that shit up and out.”

I just stood there quiet knowing it would continue.

“I think she is going to dinner with_______ from ________ later, I’m trying to find out where exactly. I emailed a friend of mine who knows her.”

The conversation goes back to business, deals, zoning, market numbers, and prospecting.

I looked back down at my phone checking emails and possible text messages. Someone else mentioned they were texting with their daughter about school related things. Everyone (that means EVERYONE in the group) brought up families and connecting when traveling for business. The phone was that instant connection they all need at some point. Someone walked away to take a call.

As he walked away I noticed someone walking towards the group by themselves. They continued at a steady pace and continued on their purposeful path.

Just then loudly above all other conversations, ” hey you look great in that dress, you look gorgeous.”

The person walking turned her head smiled a big smile and said “thank you” and kept walking towards the exit.

There was a group of four of us, near to us were other groups clustered some with females included.

I took a quick glance around. No one said a word.

Back in my group, the conversation went back to fundamentals of the market and how information is being used today.

Completly harmless? Just normal general conversation and talk amongst professional #CRE people.

That exchange happened just a few weeks ago in New York City in public at a major #CRE event.

Well, of course, I had to say something.

Wait did I have to or should I say nothing at all?

“Do you think she needs your opinion about her looks to get through her day.”

He looked a bit bored with the question and replied: “she’s gorgeous and she WANTS to be complimented.”

To which my reply was. “do you even care what she is doing here, what her job is and her company does?”

His reply was….silence.

The others stood quietly.

There was a bit of uncomfortable silence and a few glances of awkwardness.

A quick chuckle and then a reference to appointments and scheduling for the rest of the day.

A particular person within the group said their professional goodbyes and left reaching for their phone like the lifeline it has become.

What do you think that persons opinion of me is now?

Do you think he cares what I think? Do you think he even wants to care?

Do you think he would care if I put a link to his LinkedIn profile right HERE.

Are you assuming this guys age based just on the way he commented as……….?

Remember I loosely titled the above story “the open secret that hides in plain sight.”

It’s there, it’s everywhere. Is this the start of this kind of shit going away.

Did you notice I said basically two sentences and that’s all it took to do what?

Stop the conversation and make that guy want to make sure he never sees me again.

Am I some kind of fucking hero for actually saying something?

I have written before two or three years back and have gone “on the record” about not wanting to hear this kind of shit.

Now I had a friend of mine say to me “some of these people don’t know who you are.”

And in that context, that person knows I have what? A #CRE focused site with millions (yes, fucking millions) of views?”

Should that matter? FUCK NO it should not.

Here’s a question, why in the fuck don’t I post up that guys picture? What am I doing by not? Am I being Complicit?

Here’s another question, when does the first one happen. When does the first female to show up with legit harassment charges and nail some fucker to the wall?

Are we immune? Have we been keeping “it quiet.”

Too much power and money to keep it from happening?

Is there a fear of……….?

Talking about a females incredible ass and huge rack in public is ok. Regardless of her position in #CRE.

Complimenting on the appearance of a female because of…………what was the real reason again?

If you are on the side of “we can’t even say anything these days….” GO FUCK YOURSELF!

Let’s go here for a minute.

I have two daughters both in their early twenties. College educated professionals.

How much farther do I need to go to emphasize what I would be willing to do to someone who……..

How about “we don’t need the police” too far?

” Let me find the women in this guys life and…” too far?

” As a society, we don’t but I am willing…….. Too far?

Do I need to state my position to justify and have an opinion about it?

I wonder about the people who do this awful shit. Do they have families? Is the family complicit? How fucking sad is that?

How do those people look their daughters in the face? EVER!

The term “witch hunt” has been brought up. Ironically the metaphor is based on people tracking down women for alleged _____?

How ironic don’t you think?

Is #CRE Immune?

Nope. No way.

It’s not a witch hunt.

It’s outing true pieces of predatory shit!

I’m enjoying every minute of it.

And will continue to do so.

One other thing.

The rest of #CRE who are in no way a part of this can only want this to happen with more frequency and with vigorous devastating professional consequence.

 

The Male-Dominated Culture Of #CRE. Are We Immune to “The Witch Hunt?”

+1. How many will make no comment or say one syllable about this to not fuck their careers, but are more than happy to talk shit politics for days?

+1+1 Again,  just in case!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

  • As usual Duke, it’s not exactly how I would say things, but you are on point. As a woman in CRE raising a teenage boy I have had plenty of discussions about #metoo and this “witch hunt” phobia/fall-out. The fact is that most women AND men know who these individuals are and how they behave long before anyone calls them out. Sure there are some men worried about what to say. But there are just as many men in CRE who naturally treat women with the same respect as they would a male colleague or competitor and are not worried at all. So to the good guys – we also know who you are 😉 and we look forward to working more with you and we will cheer you on and support you in your successes just as we know you will do the same for us. Being respectful is always the smart way to do business. But, it does help if you “hear something, say something,” because often as the “only” woman in the room, we really aren’t in a position to do so.

    • Duke Long

      As always Diane insightful and dead on! I have no issues standing up in the past so why stop now!

  • Crazy As Normal

    You officially made my “Not one dude in CRE will say anything about it.” statement null and void. Thanks for doing that. For real…

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