Commercial Real Estate Rant. Caution: Bad Language Bad Grammar Lots Of Attitude.

Commercial Real Estate Rant

  1. All male dominated. Where are the ladies? Hell they make all the decisions anyway.
  2. Lots of frat boy status conscious pricks, from those high dollar “state” schools.
  3. Who of course always think they can bullshit their way thru anything. It worked for their old man,of course they are so much smarter.
  4. Everyone thinks that they are fucking Donald Trump  when in reality they are  a “bad “version of him.Think Hair!
  5. The sons of big hitters that think they are the shit because daddy’s name is on everything. Of course they won’t admit it until closing when daddy shows up to sign all the paperwork for the LLC. Then they sit like daddy’s good little boy.
  6. Kids of principles. Are they really related to the “Boss”? Did the old man have to build a building at the juco just to skate the kid thru a Sociology minor? The daughter is of course HOT and smarter and married to some bearded social media pussy. HIS mommy wears a “scarf” and always talks about not being able to keep “good” help.
  7. Principles partners of course are the real hitters and hire their wives and put them on the PR/ Social Media committee, to you know, keep the” pulse”.
  8. Politically “hooked up” people who think they “smile” and the deal works just for them only. Of course they want and or have a piece of the LLC. Naturally  not allowed to vote on the deal. God forbid there be a hint of conflict of interest.
  9. OK, your dad was the X mayor like back in the 70’s.Big fucking deal.The bow tie and stache are just sad.Your dad had a little juice because he earned it.You have zero.So you are on the Area Plan Commission.You did not invent the city.Stay the fuck out of the way.While on a roll… The Anglophile thing .WTF?
  10. Assholes that think their town/county/borough/city will collapse if they don’t touch any and every deal that comes to town.They truly believe it!
  11. Bankers and board committee members of the banks that look at all the deals…turn them down…Then call the owner/deal maker and offer to do the deal themselves without the bank. At a reduced cost of course.So nice!
  12. So Mr. Banker you take me to lunch to what…. get to which of my clients again? Of course remembering my name when we are at lunch may help. Oh yea,it’s Zell with a Z. You self serving asshole.Your boss the prez of the bank remembers my name.Tell him to learn how to putt and the rematch is on.
  13. Ladies or wives of principal,owners,buyers who still think Doris Day and Rock Hudson (the gay thing was like  …whatever) was and are still their real role models.The big hair and the Caddy…you think  Casino..the movie…everyone else  thinks Casino the boat kind.
  14. Every asshole in commercial real estate runs for some kind of political office.
  15. Amazingly of course they are devastated when they don’t win. Obliviously,not understanding that people not only don’t vote for them,they vote for somebody that they have never heard of just to make sure that the commercial rel estate asshole does not get a vote.
  16. People who come into a market from a bigger market and of course realize that they know everything about the “little” market and that it is so much easier to do business and get deals done. Of course it does not happen because they do “not shit” in their market either.
  17. No one from a “little” market has any chance of getting any deals in the “big” market. You will be dam lucky if you get a referral agreement,and if you do GOOD LUCK getting paid!  The names used are:  provincial ,pissant ,podunk ,hillbilly, resi guy,  or ” who the fuck  are you again”!  Of course the first question they ask no matter what your age. Where did you go to school? Answer……who gives a shit?
  18. Lawyers. Endless list. Fill in your own. If you are a lawyer,please comment with your real name address and home phone number attached. (Howard you are exempt!) We all trust you really…. we do!

Well, was that really necessary? The language the nasty? Not really expecting to get a lot of positive responses or support.Not really looking for it.There are a lot of smart and wonderful people in this business…..sometimes some of them do not show up.

Duke Long